DOCTOR INCOMING!
by Mariadoria
Summary: Who knew that a fez could be cool and also time-travel?


A fez wearing thirteenth doctor and her three friends stepped out of the TARDIS, onto the moon of Kandoka. Giant white and red warehouses with the giant ' _Kerblam!_ ' logo branded across the sides loomed above them, reaching for the sky. Yaz gaped at the sheer scale of them, while Ryan just scowled.

"Well," declared the Doctor, clapping her hands together, "here we are. Moon of Kandoka, warehouses ahead. Let's go and see who needs our help, shall we?" She set off at a brisk pace, the tassel on her red fez swinging about. She heard the hurried footsteps of her three companions hastening to catch up with her.

"Are you really going to wear that hat in there, Doc?" asked Graham. "I know you like it, and it's very stylish, but it's not exactly going to make people think you're sane, is it?" The Doctor whipped around, a retort on the tip of her tongue.

Unfortunately, before she could say more than a very affronted, "Oi!" a blue light, similar to that of a teleport pulse, surrounded her and she disappeared with a blinding flash. Graham, Ryan and Yaz just stared at where the Doctor stood previously, gawping like codfish.

"We're stuck on an alien moon," Ryan said, eyes wide.

* * *

The Doctor, with his brilliant red bowtie, moped in a seat near the console room of the TARDIS.

He couldn't believe that River and Amy would conspire against him to destroy his fantastic fez. He couldn't understand why they didn't sense the majesty of the hat. There was something about it that he loved. Maybe it was the way it sat on his head? He would never know. Coupled with the fact that his second fez that he ordered still hadn't arrived two weeks later, and it was safe to say that he was in a right good strop.

He was snapped out of his musing by a bright blue flash and a cry of, "-ock the Fez, Graham!" His eyes widened as he saw a woman, wearing a bright red fez with a tassel, and a blue coat, with yellow suspenders and sturdy boots. She was sprawled out on the floor, eyes wide with what seemed to be recognition and bemusement.

Suddenly, she grasped the fez on her head and collected herself off the floor. She did look very strange, the Doctor had to admit. But, more to the point, who was she, and how did she get into his TARDIS? Just because she was wearing absolutely lovely headgear wouldn't excuse her.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked. "You're trespassing inside my TARDIS!" She took one look at him, squinting her eyes, focusing on his bowtie.

"The bowties really aren't a good idea." Then, after quickly flicking it, she marched off in the direction of the console room. He felt a slight vibration swirl around the walls of the TARDIS. Almost like a chuckle.

He clumsily chased after her, a strange buzzing beginning to build in the back of his head. "Oi! Just who do you think you are, barging in here and knocking my bowtie? They are cool!" She didn't reply. She really was a strange one.

The buzzing grew stronger. The Doctor frowned. That couldn't be right. The last time he felt this was when there was another Time Lord around. This woman couldn't be a Time Lord, she just couldn't be. It was completely impossible. They were all gone. Destroyed in the Time War, along with Gallifrey. He tried to play it cool, to act like everything was alright. He wouldn't let her know his suspicions. He also couldn't keep the hope from creeping up his spine. If she was, then he wouldn't be alone for life.

He burst into the console room, following the woman. The closer he got to her, the stronger the buzzing became. He couldn't deny it now. She must be a Time Lord, otherwise this was all just a cruel, elaborate ruse meant to make him do something stupid in the hope that he wasn't the last of his kind.

She walked up to the console a pressed a button.

The wrong button.

The TARDIS jerked sideways, knocking the both the Doctor and the woman off their feet. They tumbled down the stairs, a tangle of limbs. If the Doctor was watching he would find the situation rather comical. Instead, he found it quite startling and very painful.

"I'd forgotten how inconvenient this console was!" she cried, digging into a pocket. She pulled out a curved silver cylinder and pressed a button at its base. The familiar sound of his sonic started up, the console sparking.

"What are you doing? You don't even know how she works!" said the Doctor.

"Of course I know how my own TARDIS works, you nitwit!" She extricated herself from the tangle and climbed the stairs two at a time. "Second time's a charm, then." More cautiously this time, she began operating the buttons of the console.

It took a second for the Doctor to register what she said. 'My own TARDIS,' she had said. That would mean…

"You're me?" Eleven stood and stared at her. How could that be possible? He was on his last regeneration. Then again, it was best not to question these things. The answer would come in all due time. "Good to know I kept my impeccable sense of style at least. And what regeneration are you?"

"Oh, I'm number thirteen," said Thirteen. She took the fez off her head. "And this lovely thing finally arrived in the mail. Only took them fifteen-hundred years!" She yelled the last bit to seemingly no one, before grinning at Eleven. "I've got it now, so that's good. Also, got a mystery to solve, so I've got to get back to my friends. Mind if I borrow your TARDIS? Not exactly sure how I got here, I'll figure that out later." She returned the fez to her head, perusing the console.

Eleven was flabbergasted. "Fifteen-hundred years? For a fez? And I get old, don't I?" Thirteen whipped around and looked ready to snap at him. Luckily, he was saved by the stampeding feet of Amy and Rory. Obviously, his future self's incompetence with piloting his sexy TARDIS had drawn them out of their whatever they did when Eleven wasn't around.

"Doctor," said Amy, glaring at him. "What is going on here? Who is she?" She glared at Thirteen, who currently looked like a deer in the headlights. Eleven snickered. It was good to see that his future regeneration was just as awkward as he was sometimes. "And why is she wearing that awful fez?"

"Oi, don't knock the fez, Amy," exclaimed Thirteen. "Oh, I'm him." She roughly gestured to Eleven with her thumb, grinning a stupid grin. She always loved seeing people's confusion when they tried to get their head around two Doctors being in the same room. Eleven waved. He would never admit it, but he loved these meetings too. Before the inevitable paradox happened, of course. Pretty soon, the Cloister Bells would begin their clanging.

"How is that possible?" asked Rory, stepping up beside Amy.

"Regeneration, it's a lottery," snarked Eleven. Thirteen glared.

"At least I have enough dress sense not to wear bowties!" Once again, she returned to the console. "Okay, here we go. Moon of Kandoka is a go!" She pulled the main lever down with a very audible clunk. The TARDIS began it's groaning and wheezing, the time rotor in the centre traveling up and down. Thirteen snickered as she heard the confusion taking place behind her as Eleven desperately tried to explain the concept of regeneration to a clueless Amy and Rory.

The meeting would be over soon, from what she remembered. It was such a long time ago, though. Maybe there was something she forgot? Nevertheless, she needed to go into that warehouse and see what was going on. As much as she wanted to lament over the terrible, terrible fez delivery, there was no time. Ironic, wasn't it?

* * *

"Maybe she'll just turn up here," suggested Ryan. "She's an alien, maybe she can find a teleport. Or make one. She did teleport us into space, that one time." They were all beginning to get a bit wound up, jabbering possible theories as to how the Doctor could turn up.

A wheezing sounded behind them, suspiciously like the TARDIS. Graham wheeled around, followed by Ryan and Yaz. His mouth fell open as he saw another TARDIS materialising in front of them. It was a brighter blue than the one they traveled in, as well as being slightly smaller.

"Seems you were right about her turning up, Ryan," said Yaz. "Just not about how." The TARDIS landed, wheezing and groaning stopped. Almost immediately, the door opened, a very familiar face popping out. Fez and tassel included.

"Ah! Good! We're in the right spot!" She smiled at Graham, waving to Ryan and Yaz.

"Of course we're in the right spot! I piloted her here! You're the one who landed on a volcano almost ready to erupt!" The voice came from behind her, snarky and sarcastic.

Thirteen turned around, clearly agitated. "And you're the one who nearly made us fall in! I only landed us on the edge!"

"Would you two stop the bickering!" Yelled a strong Scottish voice. Without even seeing who it belonged to, Graham was already imagining her being a feisty red-head.

Reluctantly, Thirteen snapped her mouth shut, stepping out of the TARDIS. A man wearing a bowtie with floppy hair followed her, grinning. A very similar grin to Thirteen.

"Who's he, then?" asked Graham.

"And where did you find another TARDIS?" said Yaz.

"And if you have another TARDIS, why did it take you so long to turn up?" added Ryan. Thirteen smiled.

"Question! Yes, questions are always good. Now, to answer your questions: He is me, it's the same TARDIS, and we had a few problems with a volcano on the way here. But, we're here now."

"How do you mean, he's you?" said Graham incredulously. "He can't be you."

"I thought you got the whole regeneration thing. Well, here's proof." Thirteen gestured grandly at Eleven. "Me, only fifteen-hundred years younger!" She mimed blowing a trumpet and chuckled when Eleven knocker her upside the head.

"This is all lovely, but from what it seems, you have a warehouse to visit and we have a brilliant ice cream parlour to try out."

"This is where the memories end," Thirteen confirmed. She seemed slightly dejected that she was going to have to say goodbye to her previous self. Her face suddenly lit up. "As a parting gift, take this fez." She handed it to a delighted Eleven. "Just keep it secret from Amy and River. Wouldn't want a repeat of Utah."

"No. No we don't." Eleve opened a bigger on the inside pocket and stuck the fez inside it, grinning happily. "I'll see you again, I guess? In fifteen hundred years?"

"You'll be me in fifteen-hundred years, Doctor," corrected Thirteen. Elevel laughed, patting his pocket where the fez was happily.

"Touche, Doctor." With a cheerful wave, he returned to his TARDIS, which soon disappeared with a wheeze.

The Doctor turned around to face her stunned friends. "Alright, now that that fiasco is over, let's get a shift on! Kerblam! mission 2.0 here we come." And without another word, as if this wasn't one of the strangest things to happen all week, she began striding towards the looming warehouses with a spring in her step.

All three of them sighed, knowing that the best thing to do was accept it and move on.

For when you travel with the Doctor, strange happenings swarm towards you in droves.

* * *

 _This was swimming around in my head, so I decided to write it down. Didn't take very long and had tons of fun writing it. It isn't meant to be anything serious, just a fun little story. I may come back and expand upon it later. Hopefully everyone was in character. It's my weakest point, so any feedback on that would be greatly appreciated._

 _Sincerely  
Mariadoria._


End file.
